Meeting someone pivotal in your life is often not greeted by cymbals and drum rolls. Sometimes they just slip in unnoticed and non-assuming, yet they can subliminally change how we think and act in quiet and unobtrusive ways. People like this are like jewels. Colorful treasure in a sometimes grey, monochrome world that can make us sit up and take notice of the beauty and sparkle that is inherent in life.
I met a man twelve years ago who changed me, fundamentally and quietly without his knowing. We met weekly and exchanged thoughts, philosophies, visions and ideas. He was older than I was and had a broader life experience and education than I had at the time. He spoke to and listened to me, and encouraged me to believe in my aspirations, beliefs and hopes. He supported me as I took the first tentative steps to thinking beyond the person that I was at the time, and he shaded my dreams with pencils of colour and substance.
Looking back, I recognise that I was at a crossroads in my life. My children were in their late teens and were on their own paths of discovery. My job at the time was well paid but I hated it. My husband had his career and was working hard at it. I was approaching my 40’s and I truly didn’t know who I was or where I going to. My life was predictable and mostly enjoyable, but it was lacking something that I couldn’t articulate or name.
This man encouraged me to read the works of great philosophers and writers, and to think deeply about the things that produced joy and happiness for me. He believed in the power of silence and self-reflection and taught me not to feel afraid in the quiet of my mind. Through our weekly discussions we explored what the universe had to offer us as humans and what we could give back.
We debated and argued back and forth about what was meaningful and relevant in a world gone mad with consumerism and greed. We agreed that it was people and how they felt that mattered most when it came to actual living.
I looked forward to our meetings and I was rarely disappointed. We were in a work environment so not all the time was spent chatting, but I loved having time out with this wonderful man learning something new in almost every encounter. He made me think in a way that I had never done before.
Trying to help my husband and children understand the monumental shift that was occurring inside me was difficult, as I was learning to think, to do things differently, and to reflect on where I was on my life’s map. I was also menopausal at the time which may have contributed to their lack of engagement with me as they all thought I was going nuts anyway. My new “Airy Fairy” way of thinking and my constant quoting of this man’s viewpoints made them laugh and dismiss me a lot, although they were never deliberately unkind. They just didn’t get what I was getting.
They didn’t understand the effect that this man was having on my consciousness. Although they listened to me, they didn’t really hear me or understand my new way of thinking. I knew that he did and I simply loved him for it.
I eventually emerged from the menopause mentally intact (although my family may disagree on this issue) and began to slowly build a new individual way of being, hugely influenced by this gentle man.
My thoughts and practices are different now and have been since I knew him. His gentleness continues to affect me in how I view the world and his wisdom will never be forgotten.
I do not see him now and have not for many years. Our paths diverged and we are not in contact. He has absolutely no idea how he influenced and changed my life.
I remember him with fondness, thankfulness and a deep and abiding love. He provided me with a space that allowed me to express my feelings, my doubts, worries and dreams. He listened to me and never judged me. He encouraged me to be quiet in myself and to appreciate the silence that lies within us all. He taught me to accept people with all their frailties and vulnerabilities and to recognise that I have those feelings too.
He has been a kind of guru for me in how I live my life although he would hate to have that title. He believed in the sharing of life’s philosophies, education and knowledge, with the implicit acknowledgement that we have no ownership of them as they were never ours in the first place. I learnt from him that wisdom, kindness and understanding that is passed on is the greatest gift that we as humans can share.
Destiny can teach us about people and the unconsciousness power they have to individually shape our lives.
Posted in A presumed future, Adult Education, Ageism, Aspirations, Belief, Broker, Care, Chance, children., Cliches, College, Community, destiny, Dreams, education, Empty Nest, family, Gentleness, Group Learning, Guru, happiness, Health Care, Hope, Individual, Influence, Innocence, Inspiration, investement, Investment, Ireland, Irish, Island, Kindness, Knowledge, Learing, Learning, life, love, Meaning, Miscellaneous, Mortality, New Year, Opportunity, People, Philosophy, Pivitol, Promises, Resolutions, rich, Security, Thanks, tradition, Truth, uncatagorised, Uncategorized, University, Youth
Tagged Happiness, Life, love
According to all the current reports in the newspaper and on the TV, our Irish National Health Service is in shambles. There are stories featured almost every day about the heartbreak and suffering that vulnerable people have to endure at a time when they need care the most. There seems to be little praise for the services and for every bad story that is heard, there are another five waiting in the wings for their day in the spotlight.
I realise that no newspaper ever refused ink, and that good news rarely makes the front page, but I am heartened by my own recent experience with the Health Service and particularly with St James Hospital in Dublin where my mother is currently a patient.
I brought my mam (who is also terminally ill) to the A & E department of James Street hospital in Dublin late on Monday night June 18th on the advice of her GP. Her condition didn’t appear to relate to her current illness, but her GP quite rightly didn’t want to take any chances. From the waiting room she was triaged within five minutes and was admitted almost immediately. The care and attention that she received during the next few hours was of an exceptionally high standard, and was in contrast to previously heard stories about this particular department.
Despite being overcrowded with patients on trollies, there was one cubicle that was constantly kept empty during the night. Trollies were moved about by the staff with the dexterity of chess pieces as doctors came and consulted with, and diagnosed their patients. Each patient was wheeled into this empty cubicle in order to have complete privacy as doctors examined them. When the consultation was over, they were wheeled back out again leaving the cubicle ready for the next patient.
All this movement/ shifting/ wheeling/ tugging/pushing was carried out by the staff with constant cheerfulness and maximum efficiency. My mother was wheeled into that cubicle three times during the hours that we were there before she was eventually transferred to a ward. Being the beneficiaries of such a high level of privacy and dignity in the middle of a hustling busy A & E dept. was so welcome and so totally unexpected given the horrific experiences of other patients that are constantly referred to by the media. The current health service is hugely criticised most of the time- but my mother’s recent experience was one to be highly commended.
The unit that she is still on is staffed by dedicated people who look after her with diligent care, kindness and professionalism. Her every need is catered for and we are so lucky that her care team are so thorough in their work and expertise.
Since she was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year, the care and attention that my mother has received from the medical staff in St James Hospital has been nothing short of excellent. Her treatments and appointments run like clockwork, and she has always been present at the heart of every consultation and meeting about her illness.
Kindness, affection and good humour are the added bonuses that the staff provide, and my mother and the rest of my family are so grateful that she is being looked after with such compassion, thoughtfulness and consideration.
I have nothing but praise for all the health care professionals that surround us at the moment as my mother struggles to remain upbeat and as well as she can be given her fragile state. I have no doubt that while the Health Service in general is struggling and needs reform, St James Hospital as a centre of excellence is currently demonstrating how best practice can actually work as my mother and consequently the rest of our family are the recipients of this care.
Destiny can lie in the hands and hearts of unexpected people who come into our lives when they are needed the most.
Posted in A presumed future, cancer, Care, Chance, Cliches, Death, destiny, family, Future, happiness, Health Care, Honesty, Hope, Hospitals, Ireland, Irish, Kindness, life, love, Miscellaneous, Mortality, Mothers, Parents, People, Promises, Thanks, Thoughts, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
Memory can be tricky, and sometimes when we tell a story we can embellish it slightly to make it more appealing to the listener. If the bones of the story remain true then there is probably no real harm done, particularly if it is a good or amusing tale. When something happens that is remarkable I want to remember it, and I have often wondered why I didn’t write things down at the time so that I could remember every little detail and nuance of what it was that I wanted to remember. Life happens and interrupts all these good intentions and resolutions, and sometimes memories fade and are lost.
Tonight I was gazing into my back garden looking in wonder at the solar sparkly fairy lights that my darling sister Annie bought for me before she died three years ago. They were shining brightly in the darkness despite the years that have gone since she died, when suddenly I remembered a fairy story from my own past.
It involved my then six year old daughter Jayne and her first baby tooth which had fallen out during the day. At the time I told my children (like many other parents) that if the child put their tooth under their pillow at night time, the fairies would come and take that tooth, carve it into toys for the baby fairies, and that they would leave money in its place under the pillow. This story needed little embellishment and most children knew the drill and minded those precious tiny teeth until they could be safely stored under the pillow in return for cold hard cash.
During that day Jayne wandered around the house with her precious tooth rolled up in a wad of tissue paper clutched tightly in her little hand. She was noticeably quiet, and a few times as she drifted past me during the afternoon I clearly remember asking her if she was alright. She was vague, but replied that she was fine. I watched her doing the strangest things like sitting on the floor in the sitting room, gazing up the chimney for a long long time. Our chimney was manually blocked up as we had gas central heating but there was a working fireplace in the house that we didn’t use. She also stood on the top of the sofa in the window area in the sitting room and opened and closed the windows! When I asked he what she was doing, her reply was “I’m just checking”…..
She spent a long time in the downstairs toilet and she flushed it several times while the door was open and when I asked her again if she was alright, she reassured me that she was “fine”. All through that afternoon she checked exterior doors and windows. I was highly amused but as I was busy with household chores, getting dinner ready etc, I really didn’t pay too much attention or press her on her investigative meanderings and never linked her behaviour to the recently “lost” tooth.
While we were sitting having dinner that evening she was quietly munching away when she put down her knife and fork and announced that she had “finally worked it out”. “Worked what out?” I replied.
In one of the sweetest moments of my life my little six year old daughter told me that the whole day she had been worrying as to how the fairies would get into the house to take her tooth for their fairy baby’s. She had checked the windows and doors and as we lived in a City she knew that they would be well secured when we were asleep and in our beds. She had checked the toilet and knew that they couldn’t get in that way and the chimney was blocked so that was not the entry point for sure.
She smiled with the conviction of Agatha Christie as she told me that there was not one fairy that arrived and took the precious tooth and left the money, but that there were in fact seventeen fairies involved in the operation. “Really” I asked humorously, “how have you worked that out”? Her reply was “Well I figure that it takes sixteen fairies to open the letterbox (which was a tightly sprung brass fixture on our front door) and only one fairy to fly up the stairs to collect the tooth”!
That was a beautiful and special moment. A moment that will be forever etched in my memory as I looked upon her innocent little face, so pleased with herself having worked out the miracle of how the tooth fairy accomplished the swap.
I promised myself that I would write it down, but I didn’t. I remembered it though with clarity throughout my life as I promised myself that I would record it. Perhaps that childish logic was the basis for her scientific persuasion and her eventual career in the police force, who knows. I am just glad that finally I have written it down and can faithfully attest that it is the absolute truth with no embellishments. This is the way that it happened.
Was it part of her destiny to establish the facts or was it part of mine to wonder at her innocence. Who knows, but I believe that it’s a great story that needed to be told.
Posted in A presumed future, Belief, Chance, children., destiny, family, happiness, Hope, Innocence, Inspiration, Ireland, Irish, Learning, life, love, Miscellaneous, Opportunity, Parents, People, Promises, Resolutions, rich, Thanks, Thoughts, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
Living in the shadow of someone else can be the most debilitating curse. Being compared to someone that everyone else perceives as being better than you can be privately humiliating, and the feelings that arise as a result can last a lifetime. It can colour how you live and how you justify your very existence. You can end up apologising for your life choices, how you made them and how you continue towards your destiny. Despite your choices though, you are always compared. This can be the toughest battle and one that is never really fought openly. It can be latent and subjective and it can burden in the most hurtful and inconceivable way.
31 years ago today I married a boy. I was 20 and loved him. He was 24 and loved me back. We set forth on an adventure that saw us buying a house, having a couple of kids, building a life as young couple’s do- raising a family together and taking life in its stride.
We encountered Joy, happiness, debt, hardship, isolation, personal problems, parenting issues, job difficulties etc…. Normal events in normal lives.
Throughout our early married years we had the benevolence of our parents, but in particular we had my husband’s wonderful dad who was a rock of sense. He was a Civil Servant who worked for the Department of Justice in Ireland, and had spent his lifetime working for the collective good of the Irish legal system- drafting pieces of legislation that are still a part of our constitution today. He was a moral and kind man and had wonderful values that he passed unknowingly on to his four children.
My lovely husband was the beneficiary of the morals, kindness and thoughtfulness of this sweet man who sadly died on the eve of the new Millennium on Dec 31st 1999.
Growing up in an affluent area in Dublin, my husband was surrounded by neighbours who had children, some of who had grand career opportunities that were granted to them because of their family connections. My husband had no such connections as his Dad was not in private business and who also believed that in order to get on in life you had to work hard and not rely on people giving you a leg up. His Dad had a total distain for stockbrokers and Merchant bankers and on his retirement when he was given a substantial amount of money for all his years with his State employers, he declined to invest in the “latest trend” and deposited his money in a regular bank with regular interest pay-outs rather than gamble on the stock market. He saw many of his colleagues lose their pensions on “sure things” and he passed on his hatred of stock trading and share purchasing to his children and I am all the better because of it.
This is a frame as to how we ended up living our own life, carefully and thriftily. Not showy and full on, but according to our needs and within our budget. Boring to so many who encouraged us to borrow and go on expensive holidays- to build on-or to buy a bigger house- to buy that car and to “have it all”.. We didn’t do any of that and we had a small life, lived within our means, but we were never desperately poor yet never extravagantly rich either. This was the example his Dad had set.
In comparison to some of his old neighbourhood peers, my husband suffered the indignity of mediocrity. They built empires while he worked as a skilled paramedic and Fire Fighter with the Dublin Fire Brigade. He provided a lifesaving service to the people of Dublin while his peers were busy accumulating personal wealth through business and entrepreneurship. His Dad was very proud of him and his chosen career and that is worth more than words can say.
The recent financial crash has left many of his peers broken, debt ridden and despairing.
My lovely husband knows what it feels like to live in the shadow of people who think that “they are all that and a bag o’ chips” … when really they are not even the bits in the bag when the chips are gone…….
I have always known his worth as a person. His Dad lives on in him. I married him 31 years ago today and I am so glad that we are still together. I simply love him and all the qualities that make him so dear to me.
Destiny can be about recognising goodness in people and grabbing that person and holding on tightly. x
Posted in A presumed future, Adult Education, Anniversary, Celtic Tiger, Chance, children., Cliches, destiny, Economic Boom, Economic Gloom, family, Future, happiness, Hope, Inspiration, investement, Ireland, Irish, life, love, Miscellaneous, Opportunity, Parents, People, Promises, Security, Thanks, Thoughts, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
February can hold the chill of winter, but can also herald the promise of spring. I believe that it’s a time to look forward, and to observe all the differences that the changing season brings. A very dear friend of mine recently and sadly said good bye to her beloved mother after nursing her through a debilitating illness that took its toll on her and her whole family. Her death was dreadfully sad, but my friend who has great faith, believes that her mother has gone on to a better place where she will be reunited with loved ones and will not have to endure the struggle of the past few months. Her funeral was a celebration of her life and was attended by the many people who loved this quiet, gentle and lovely lady.
While relaying the sad news of her demise earlier to another friend I was reminded of the youthful and carefree days of my youth where death only happened to “old people”. I remembered the scorn that I poured on my parents habitual reading of the local death notices and how often they would speak of someone who had recently died and their constant attendance at local funerals. They seemed to be forever speaking about dead people and although these people were their contemporaries they were so far removed from me and my young untroubled life that I had little interest in their lives and/or their subsequent deaths.
Now that I have reached a certain age I understand it all now. I am now the same age my parents were when I was a callow youth, and I too feel that sometimes I am surrounded by the never ending rituals of death and funerals. It is the constant never changing cycle of life.
In my youth I believed that life would go on forever- as we all do, and it is only as we get older that we realise that it is not so.
How we make that jump is down to life experience and age, and although it brings its own sadness as we lose those we love, it can be a hugely life defining chapter in our lives if we only realise it and use it to our advantage.
I am so sorry that my dear friend’s mother Mary Sweeney has died and will not see the spring that is coming. I will mourn her loss and I will support my friend through her sad and long bereavement. My own mother is dying so that loss is coming down the tracks for me too.
But I also want to celebrate the fact that I am alive and I am looking forward to this New Year despite the losses that it will inevitably bring.
I am glad to see the crocus bulbs pushing up through the soil, and I am glad to see the early daffodils shaking their beautiful heads as depicted in the wonderful Wordsworth poem… I am glad to see the local birds nesting and feeding their chicks, and I am glad to see the frog spawn in the local ponds. I am glad to see my adult children come to visit me and eat, chat and laugh, and I am glad that I have my dear husband of many years still beside me as a true friend and confidant despite my irritating habits and foibles. I am glad for the many dear friends that I cherish, and I feel beloved by their kindness and affection in return.
Death does surround us and it can be overwhelming at times as we journey through life- losing people that we love. We are the ones that are left for now, and in turn we shall die and be missed and mourned by the callow youths of today.
Life is for living and we all have our day in the sun.
My destiny may be written in the stars-but I haven’t yet worked out its meaning.
Posted in A presumed future, Belief, Chance, children., Cliches, Death, destiny, education, family, Funeral, Future, happiness, Hope, Inspiration, Ireland, Knowledge, Learing, life, love, Miscellaneous, Mortality, New Year, Opportunity, Parents, People, Promises, Resolutions, Security, Spring, Thanks, Thoughts, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
Like many other people I embark on the New Year with a raft of promises to myself and the wider world. “ I will eat healthier food- I will lose weight- I will be kinder to my loved ones- I will learn something new”- etc. etc. etc. Each year begins with heartfelt promises and determination to see these endeavours through to fruition. Some years have started better than others and some promises have been kept. Others have fallen by the way side, but I don’t beat myself up over not keeping them. No one is keeping an eye on me and my promises, they are mine to keep and I am in sole charge of me.
Simple things please me and some of my promises to myself are easy to keep. I always try to remember to say “thank you” to people and to look them in the eye when I am saying it so that they know that I really mean it. It’s a very small thing and takes little effort but I believe that it’s important to acknowledge when someone does something for you that you appreciate and a simple “thank you” is sometimes all that is necessary.
People who work in the service industry are bombarded by rudeness every day, so taking a moment to thank someone and to tell them that you appreciate their kindness is something that I try to do every day either in face to face transactions, on the telephone or via email. There are obviously times when situations do not go according to plan and where difficulties can arise. When speaking with people on telephones who are dealing with queries and the outcome is not what I expect or want, I try to remember that they are only doing their job and may be restricted by particular company policies or rules. I always try to remind them that if I get angry that it is not with them personally but with the restrictive rules/policies of their particular organisation. I think that this is important and I believe that many times it has produced a better outcome than if I had been ranting and raving blaming that person on the phone for not giving me what I wanted/deserved/was entitled to.
We humans are simple creatures. We respond to kindness and love. As children we blossom when we are praised, and with encouragement we strive to be the best that we can be. Telling someone that they have been kind or attentive can produce a feeling of appreciation and an acknowledgement of the effort that has been made for you. This small action can change how we interact with people and can make every positive exchange a better one.
My continued resolution for 2012 is to remember to say “thank you” and mean it, and to tell people how much I appreciate the things that they do for me. This includes my family, my friends and anyone else that I may meet on a day to day basis. I will acknowledge when they are kind and tell them so and I will endeavour to communicate to them how their love/help/assistance/expertise/ has made my life that little bit better.
The American poet Maya Angelou once wrote “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
We can all effect change in ourselves but we can be truly altruistic in how we acknowledge others and how we communicate our thanks to them. Simple words that carry a wealth of meaning can make the difference.
Destiny may be shaped by our own hands and hearts…….
Posted in A presumed future, Belief, Chance, children., Cliches, Community, Death, destiny, family, Future, happiness, Hope, Inspiration, Investment, Ireland, Irish, Knowledge, Learning, life, love, Miscellaneous, New Year, Opportunity, People, Promises, Resolutions, rich, Thanks, Thoughts, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
Reading newspaper articles on the emigration of Irish people in recent times, I have been caught up in the many tales of heartache and separation that occur when such a drastic step is taken. Many of the stories are about economic emigration because it can be difficult to see a future in the harsh landscape of Ireland in the post Celtic Tiger gloom of the present. Other stories are about bravery and vision and a belief that life will be better away from this small Island that has a huge history in shipping out its talent and youth and sending our best to the far flung corners of the globe.
When I was engaged to be married a life time ago, I had the opportunity to go to Chicago in America with my fiancé. He had an uncle who would sponsor us and we were assured of good jobs, accommodation and a loving family member who would be thrilled to watch over us and to help in any way that he could. My fiancé wanted to go but I didn’t. I loved living in Dublin at that time and being a young and naïve 19 year old, I didn’t want too many challenges or to be separated from my family and friends. My argument was that we would go, work hard and have a life, but would never be able to afford to come home for our parent’s funerals if they died. Travel was expensive in the early 80’s and this was a valid argument in my mind. We didn’t go and the dye was cast on our life in Ireland.
We stayed here, married, raised a small family and lived a small life surrounded by the people that were important to us. We educated our children and hoped that they would eventually acquire the skills needed to become independent and to continue to live here and not to be included in the statistics of people who emigrated and had to leave Ireland’s shores. We wanted them here with us and I believed that I was rearing them to become the new generation of Irish people who were going to continue into the new century with pride and a skill set that was worthwhile and valuable. Sustainable living in Ireland was our hope for them and I never gave a thought to them leaving this country.
My children are grown now and are independent and working. They are maintaining their own lives and homes against a backdrop of savage austerity and hardship. Tax cuts are biting deep and there are harder days to come. There are Increases in the cost of living, health insurance, fuel and other day to day products as well the introduction of stealth taxes on property and other items that reduce their disposable income every day. There seems to be no good news on the horizon for Ireland and for this new generation of citizens the emigration figures are climbing higher and higher.
Looking back at my own opportunity to emigrate, I realise that I was young and scared. I was afraid to take a step into the unknown, afraid to take a step into a different country, afraid to leave behind all that was familiar, afraid simply to take a step. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t been that way, and I really admire the people who have taken the plunge and have gone on to make lives for themselves and their families in so many places far from this land. They possessed the courage that I lacked.
As an Island state, Ireland cannot continue to sustain its population indefinitely and so will continue to provide the rest of the world with educated young people who will search out better places to live and to settle in. I will always want my children close by, but I am beginning to see myself as being selfish in not wanting them to go where life offers better possibilities. They have not mentioned emigration, but it’s something that I may yet have to face.
Home is somewhere that you carry in your heart and distance cannot change that. I always want them to be happy in their choices and not to be scared like I was when I was their age. If emigration calls them I don’t want them to be shackled to me or to the past, I want them to look to their own future and to find that special place that they can live and prosper in no matter where in the world it is.
I will also have a few bob put aside for them just in case they need to fly home for my funeral!
Destiny can be about evaluating the past and reshaping the future……
Posted in A presumed future, Adult Education, Belief, cancer, Celtic Tiger, Chance, children., Cliches, College, Community, Death, destiny, Economic Boom, Economic Gloom, education, Emigration, family, Future, Global, happiness, Hope, investement, Investment, Ireland, Irish, Island, Knowledge, Learing, life, love, Miscellaneous, Opportunity, People, rich, Security, stock, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
When I was recently having surgery to insert intraocular lens into my eyes I was worried about my eyesight. Would I see things differently afterwards- would I see colours as I remembered them- would this surgery restore my sight to what the experts promised it would be? These questions were the biggest things on my horizon when I embarked on a journey that was frightening and uncertain. My distance vision has been impaired since I was about 15 years of age and so I’ve worn glasses all my adult life. This has never bothered me at all.
In the past few years however my near vision has deteriorated rapidly, and as I was not suitable for varifocal lens more radical steps were required. I have since had the surgery and have had a revolutionary procedure that has resulted in my distance vision now being better than 20/20 and my near vision being restored. I can now see the world in a sharper and clearer way.
I still had the bandages on one eye when my mother got the news this week that her cancer is terminal. Her breast cancer has spread to her lungs and as she is a frail 82 years of age, her surgeon sees no point in putting her through the trauma of the originally proposed mastectomy. She will be treated with oral chemotherapy to try to contain the disease to her lung and breast in the hope that it will not travel further.
Bravely- she asked the question about how long she had to live- and unhesitatingly her Oncologist answered. Two years.
Facing an uncertain future is something we all live with but we push it away and pretend that we have years ahead…. My mam is now faced with a finite date on her life and is determined to be as strong and upbeat for as long as she can be. She is wilful and stubborn and I realise that she will do it her way and not mine or my sibling’s way because she is an independent strong woman and despite a million and one rows that we have had over the years, I wouldn’t have her any other way.
Thinking about my own eyesight fears seem so petty and small compared to the struggle that my mam is going through and I wish that my new eyes didn’t register the worry and uncertainty that I saw on her face today. I wish I didn’t see the tiredness and I wish I didn’t see the effort that she was making to chat and remain upbeat.
I collected her and her sister to bring them to lunch and I kept an eye on her through the drivers mirror as I drove along. She was in the back seat of the car chatting with her sister when she leaned through the seats and said “I never realised how beautiful your cheekbones are- I never noticed them before because you wore glasses”.
Compliments from my mam are rare and treasured. Today we both saw each other differently and I wonder how that view will change in the coming weeks and months ahead.
Destiny is a path that changes all the time….
Posted in A presumed future, Belief, Broker, cancer, Chance, children., Cliches, Community, Death, destiny, family, Future, happiness, Health Care, Honesty, Hope, investement, Irish, Kindness, Knowledge, Learning, life, love, Miscellaneous, Mortality, Mothers, Opportunity, Parents, People, Promises, Thanks, Thoughts, Truth, uncatagorised, Uncategorized
I have recently embarked on a new adventure and although the ride is bumpy, I am loving each and every corner that I turn. I am currently taking a Post Graduate H Dip in Adult Education & Community Development and part of my own learning is getting ‘out there’ to get the experience of working with other new learners in a teaching environment that I am supported in.
I have been so lucky to be included as a facilitator/lecturer on a programme that is being delivered at a local level to new learners who are taking their first steps in Adult Education. This programme is accredited learning from the National University of Ireland on the National Framework of Education and carries weight and distinction.
Meeting the new learners on my first night was nerve racking and throughout that day as I prepared for my new class I wondered if I was cut out for the job. Would I appear stupid, would I get things wrong? Would they all see through me and realise that I hadn’t a clue and demand another person in my place? These were the fears that I had as I drove to the venue where the classes were being held.
Meeting these lovely people who were all there for different reasons was a wonderful experience. They had decided to ‘sign up’ to make a difference to their own lives and to the lives of their families and communities. During break time I met several who told me personal stories about themselves and what had prompted them to embark on this new Adult Education programme. Each and every person had a story about adversity, inequality, bias, marginalisation- and some more extreme. Like the new immigrant who was finding the cultural shift between their own country and this new Irish one so difficult to embrace and to feel a part of, and the person who was campaigning vigorously to establish addiction services in his local area to eliminate having to travel miles to a needle exchange.
Delivering material and being a part of the group during that first class was one of the best moments of my life. I looked at the eager faces sitting on chairs around that room and realised that only a very short time ago it was me in one of those chairs with that hungry look on my face. It was me who raised my hand up with questions about things that I didn’t understand. It was me who gazed in awe at the lecturer and wondered how he ever learned all that he knew. It was me who joined in group discussions and was vocal about the subject that we were tackling that particular night. It was me- It was me!
Speaking with one of the lovely new learners at the end of the night, she told me that she wants to go further in education and that this course is her stepping stone to her future. She is sure footed and knows the steps that she has to take and is determined to succeed. I was humbled to hear her speak about how tough life has been for her, yet her sparkle and intelligence shone through her words and I believed her sincerity in wanting to make a difference to her own life and to those that she loves. Telling her that I was in her chair not long ago and that I too had started my return to learning in a similar fashion broke down any barriers that may have existed between us, and she reiterated her belief that this experience was going to be life changing for her.
“The circle of life” is a cliché that fits in so many ways to my thinking, and it was reinforced for me that night as I realised that the very first steps I took on my own personal path in Adult Education are being repeated by the people in my group of new learners. They in turn will go on and continue to bring education back to the people who constantly seek ways of wanting to make this world a better place to live in.
Education is a powerful thing and I am so glad to be able to share my own learning and experience with this new group as I have no ownership of the knowledge and material that I have received throughout my own educational journey. It has been a life changing experience for me and passing it on is the greatest gift that anyone can bestow on another.
Destiny is often shaped by others when we least expect it.
Posted in A presumed future, Adult Education, Belief, Broker, Chance, Cliches, College, Community, destiny, education, family, Future, Group Learning, happiness, Hope, investement, Irish, Knowledge, Learning, life, love, Miscellaneous, Opportunity, People, rich, Security, stock, uncatagorised, Uncategorized, University
Investment is a word that we associate with money as it is mostly used in popular cultural language as a means of explaining the accumulation of wealth. The definition of the word has many meanings: Assets- Speculation- Venture -Outlay-Stock- Share- Security- words that we have come to be associated primarily with hard cash.
Breaking down the language and taking the implicit meaning out of the word “investment” and really examining what is literally meant by ‘Outlay’- ‘Share’ and ‘Security’ paints a different picture to the one created by financial wizards and money experts.
I understand the word ‘Investment’ to mean many things, but my primary use of this word is in a different context to its more popular appearance in financial journals, newspapers and media sound bites.
Investing in people is something that I do. Personally I have been lucky to be the recipient of wisdom and knowledge from some very special and wonderful people and I believe in passing it on. This is what I consider to be a relevant and real investment. Speculating on something and hoping for a return is something that is not exclusive to the money markets and like the gambler, sometimes you win and other times you lose. Is life a game?
Knowledge is a wonderful thing and I simply believe that to share it is an investment in the person that you are passing it on to. Trusting that they will in turn share the same knowledge and pass it on is all I ever hope for. This way the investment pays off for me. I have no wish to keep for myself the vast experience and learning’s of others and I am a willing broker who wants everyone to become rich by the same methods that have made me the person that I am.
This primary ‘investment’ in people provides ‘stock’ in a range of skills and learning, and ‘security’ in the belief in ourselves as humans. This can turn lives around in a way that fundamentally changes us as people that is unrelated to money or to the accumulation of wealth. As humans we possess ‘assets’ that are as priceless and as individual as we are and we all have the ability to ‘share’ them with others. I believe that putting the real meaning back into some of the words that have been taken from us by bankers and financial gurus is a good place to start.
Investing in people and continuing to believe in them is something that makes me wealthier than any banker on the planet and the ‘trade’ that is generated by the reciprocal sharing of knowledge is something that to me is richer than gold.
Destiny does not happen in a vacuum, but is shaped by our individual lived experiences.
Posted in A presumed future, Belief, Broker, Chance, Cliches, College, destiny, education, family, happiness, Hope, investement, Investment, Knowledge, life, love, Opportunity, People, rich, Security, stock, uncatagorised, Uncategorized